The Unwanted

When you cherish friends like the most precious treasures in the world
When you treat them with all your heart
When you are willing to give them anything just to remain the friendships that have been built for many years
When everything you have done so far, has been treated as you being fake to them

That’s when the heart was truly broken
All hopes and faith towards the so called ‘ friendship’ fell apart

I do not get it during that time
and…I still do not get it until now

What had gone wrong?
Years passed… It changed the meaning of what i thought ‘ friendship’ was..

——————————————————————————————————————————-
Sometimes…it is not that I am easy to be bullied
or I am too shy or scared to voice out my ‘beh-songness’
It is just that I don’t see a point arguing with unnecessary people
I can be as nice and as mean if I want to
Ng Mei Yoke is not that innocent after all …

Thanks Susan for the encouraging words.
I seriously do not wish to complain or rant about my own problems
Because I know compared to others, my problems are not significant enough to be worth mentioning
I know others are lack behind their studies, in fact, everyone is
I know others have their bad days too, not only me
One of them is the Chairperson of the Friendship Week 2007 + 6 MC module + CAs …..
One of them is the IC for Mass Dance for Friendship Week 2007 + TR project due + tutorial presentation + ……
One of them is the Editor for ASPIRE, covering events + 6 MC module + CAs….. ( and many more, which i don’t think i see her often enough to update me..)
How can i still complain compared to the rest of them???!!!
I am trying to be grateful
I am trying to be contented with what I have
I am trying not to demand for more
I am trying to just keep things to myself like i usually do and stop behaving like a spoiled kid !!!
ANGRY AT MYSELF!!!

It had been very bad during the last few days
URGH!!
Being lacking behind, as in very very the lack behind my studies is already stressing me out
No revisions at all during the past 2 weeks
and during last Sunday, Residence 3 had the Potluck Dinner
Only one of my cluster mates and one of Chow chow’s came to help the both of us to cook the dish
and while I was cutting the carrots, I CUT MY FINGER!! AT SUCH CRITICAL TIME!!!
the cut was kinda deep. a lot of blood kept oozing out. cannot stop at all.
then, having so little help already, I got hurt. I felt so sorry for the rest, doing my part as well.

and then at nite, after bathing, I found out one of my earrings is missing and can’t find back after then
how HAPPY!!!

Parents advised me to see the doctor about my cut
and I went alone to the UHWC
I actually thought the doctor is just gonna help me clean the wound and wrap it a bit
Stupid me!
I ended up getting an injection
*gulps*
I did not expect it at all!!
I was so scared and I was alone. No one to share my pain with! =P
and the words said by the nurse were not comforting at all lor..
‘ it is gonna be very very painful for the next few days. as in VERY PAINFUL….’ said the nurse
RIGHT BEFORE INJECTING ME!!!
what the hell…

so friends..no more hitting me on my left arm when you are excited or trying to get my attention or whatsoever..
coz i kena quite a few times adi

supposedly to look forward to the Dinner and Dance this Saturday rite..??
NO!!
coz my individual project for my TR minor is due this Friday
and so far, i have done nothing at all but only came up with a name for my product

almost cried that day when my parents called
have been very stress with my own problems
and luckily, i did manage to hold back my tears and sounded fine
coz there is no point making them worried especially my mum
i know my mum…
if i were to have any problems dealing with my own life, my mum will surely have sleepless nights for weeks
i just hope after this week
things will be better..