The Unwanted

muahahaha
exam is finally over
u hear me??
wahahahaha
happy happy!!
going to bugis now
kekekekeke

The finals have already started.
I only have one thing to say.
‘I did badly’ again? yes.
failure failure and failure
sometimes I would think,
how come NUS accept dumb people like me?
With people like me, I know the reason their ranking dropped from 18 - 21 this year

studying for my Japanese Studies.
*yawn*
don get me wrong.
not that Japanese Studies is boring
just that when you study something for exam,
it tends to get bored eventually no matter how you are interested it is

dunno whether it is because of stress or not
i have trouble sleeping during this week
people who know me well
would say’ huh? u??having trouble sleeping? i doubt it’
yea. im just like a pig.
after eating,i slp
before eating,i slp
not eating,i slp
practically,i love to slp
it is VERY VERY weird for me having trouble with slping nowadays
monday was my first 2 papers
i had a paper at 9am and the other at 1pm
i actually slpt at 5am
not because im hardworking enough to study till so late
but it is because i had trouble falling aslp

2 more to go
Japanese studies and Political science
political science? dare not even think bout it
wonder what was i thinking when i bidded for the module?
me? being able to think politically??
ha! ha!
gonna be a dead meat for that paper.
nope. should be a dead meat for all papers
happily screwing all papers
sigh…

there was one day when we were really bored. then, we started to wonder… what does NUS actually stand for??

yea.National University of Singapore(DUH!~!!)

Nerds Under Stress!!!
- quite true coz we are now consider nerds.
-we have no life during this exam period.
-we are definately under stress.

No Use Studying!!!
-true also coz no matter how hard you study, you are not gonna be the best among the rest
-too competitive here already
-you not only have to beat the Malaysians, but as well as the Singaporeans, Vietnamese, Indonesians…U NAME IT!!

therefore, what have we gotten ourselves into for coming to NUS??

go figure…hehe

im lost. so lost in my life, in NUS, in my studies…the list goes on. i dunno why my life can be so (how shall i put it in words?)..so LOST??!!

exam is coming. im feeling very stressed. im tired of studying.tired of staying late everynite to study as much as i could. tired of worrying doing bad in my finals. tired of feeling guilty for not studying, wasting time or even slping.

i was not even this stress during my one and a half year of my STPM. i mean i did slack during my lower 6 and part of upper 6.=P. but this is only my first semester in NUS and im as stressed as i was during the STPM period. how am i gonna survive for the next of my 4 years here??!!

despite how screwed im in my studies,im also as screwed in my social life. i actually have problems making friends with others. what is wrong with my social skills? or issit becoz of my personality tat drives people off? sobs…i sound so pathetic..IM PATHETIC. everyday,i go lecture alone, i go tutorial alone, i have breakfast alone and i have lunch alone. IM TIRED OF BEING ALONE!!! i actually feel embarrassed when i eat alone everyday. i mean people are looking weirdly at me. (fine!if u think that im just being paranoid) there’s one day i had a sinful meal(Tempura Set in The Deck, cost me $4). guess what?! i was eating alone again. all of a sudden, the Tempura set does not taste as good as i thought it would be anymore.

i feel so lonely all the time. among my Malaysian friends who came to NUS, everyone is either from the Faculty of Science, Faculty of Engineering, School of Computing. there are less than 5 from Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. how happy uh??! and those 5 people rite? none of them majoring in Economics! where are all the Arts people?? SOS!!!

i really envy my friends that they get to go lecture together, tutorial together and even discuss studies together. i feel so out of place everytime im wif them. i have no one to discuss at all. tell u what! im so lack of sense of belonging in NUS that i went to join the Arts Club. the aim is to mix with more Arts people to make myself belonging to NUS. do i sound deperate? i don find myself enjoying in that club at all. i forced myself to join. maybe i could make more friends, more Arts friends. however, i find myself struggling in that club…

Susan always ask me to dress nicer for classes. firstly, i don have a nice body in the sense that im fat to dress ANY clothes i like. secondly, what is so fun bout dressing up if u r going everywhere alone? i tried to dress as simple as possible so that people wont notice how pathetic im for doing everything alone. sobs…

where were the days when all my frens are with me all the time? doing everything together. we are even tired of seeing each other everyday for almost 12 hours!!

i miss Lih and Chin Wei so much…

i have not been blogging for some time. i dunno y. i mean i know im busy, but im sure i still have time to spare for blogging. im jst not in the mood for blogging…

im now the reading room. getting sick of studying economics. i wonder how im gonna major in it. i used to think that, studying in the University means studying what u wanted to study all along. i was wrong,well..maybe for myself.

i don wish to tell what i want to study all along. it would jst make me even more upset than im now. i have been feeling depressed nowadays. exam is coming. so much to study. i don think..or i should say im practically sure that i will not be able to finish studying all the things. im so screwed AGAIN…

i hate exams.y on earth do they have exams?? i know it is to test our understanding..but..its too stressing and stress is not good for our health!! don they get it??~!! sobs…ok. im gonna stop complaining. i said OK~!!

gonna continue with my economics now. have to do my tutorial work as well. good luck everybody in stressing.drink more water, eat more fruits and slp well. this is the critical period. thou shall not fall sick!!